The Indispensable Calvin and Hobbes

I made a big decision a little while ago.

I don't remember what it was, which prob'ly goes to show

That many times a simple choice can prove to be essential

Even though it often might appear inconsequential.

I must have been distracted when I left my home because

Left or right I'm sure I went. (I wonder which it was!)

Anyway, I never veered: I walked in that direction

Utterly absorbed, it seems, in quiet introspection.

For no reason I can think of, I've wandered far astray.

And that is how I got to where I find myself today.

Explorers are we, intrepid and bold,

Out in the wild, amongst wonders untold.

Equipped wit our wits, a map, and a snack,

We're searching for fun and we're on the right track!

My mother has eyes on the back of her head!

I don't quite believe it, but that's what she said.

She explained that she'd been so uniquely endowed

To catch me when I did Things Not Allowed.

I think she must also have eyes on her rear.

I've noticed her hindsight is usually clear.

At night my mind does not much care

If what it thinks is here or there.

It tells me stories it invents

And makes up things that don't make sense.

I don't know why it does this stuff.

The real world seems quite weird enough.

What if my bones were in a museum,

Where aliens paid good money to see 'em?

And suppose that they'd put me together all wrong,

Sticking bones on to bones where they didn't belong!

Imagine phalanges, pelvis, and spine

Welded to mandibles that once had been mine!

With each misassemblage, the error compounded,

The aliens would draw back in terror, astounded!

Their textbooks would show me in grim illustration,

The most hideous thing ever seen in creation!

The museum would commission a model in plaster

Of ME, to be called, "Evolution's Disaster"!

And paleontologists there would debate

Dozens of theories to help postulate

How man survived for those thousands of years

With teeth-covered arms growing out of his ears!

Oh, I hope that I'm never in such manner displayed,

No matter HOW much to see me the aliens paid.

I did not want to go with them.

Alas, I had no choice.

This was made quite clear to me

In threat'ning tones of voice.

I protested mightily

And scrambled 'cross the floor.

But though I grabbed the furniture,

they dragged me out of the door.

In the car, I screamed and moaned.

I cried my red eyes dry.

The window down, I yelled for help

To people we passed by.

Mom and Dad can make the rules

And certain things forbid,

But I can make them wish that they

Had never had a kid.

Now I'm in bed,

The sheets pulled to my head.

My tiger is here making Zs.

He's furry and hot.

He takes up a lot

Of the bed and he's hogging the breeze.

Ascent of the East

PURVODAYA, the first national level conclave hosted by any IIT, took place on the 7^th and 8^th of April at IIT Kharagpur. The conclave was conceived by the Vinod Gupta School of Management (VGSOM), with the objective of providing ideas for the development of Eastern India, in partnership with the Steel Authority of India Limited, with Era Group and The Times of India as the associate partners.

The conclave was inaugurated by the Director of IIT Kharagpur, Prof S. K. Dube, with the director (Personnel) of SAIL, Mr. G. Ojha as the chief guest. The occasion was also graced by Prof. G S Sanyal, the “Bhishma Pitama” of IIT Kharagpur, who has been involved with IIT Kharagpur since its very inception.

During the 2 day conclave several luminaries representing the government and the industry spoke on diverse subjects, from Mining and Manufacturing to the challenges faced in developing the Services Sector in Eastern India. These included Mr. Sethuraman Sivaram, Director, Deloitte,Mr. B D Mundhra, Chairman and Managing Director, Simplex Infrastructure limited, Prof. Prakash Apte, Director, IIM Bangalore, along with Mr Sunil Mitra, the Principal Secretary, Power, from the West Bengal government. These were some of the eminent personalities and experts who each delivered their vision of the future of Eastern India. The entire conclave was conceived and executed entirely by the students of Vinod Gupta School of Management in order to stimulate the ideas of the student community that is going to carry out the plans of today tomorrow.

During the discussion on MINING, a broad agreement was reached on the importance of keeping mining and the subsidiary manufacturing industries close to each other to create value, rather than merely exporting commodities. The quantum of the investment that was expected in the Eastern states was pointed out, with the commitments of both foreign and domestic investments in the mining industry being laid out. The ex-CEO of Mittal Steel Kazakhstan, Mr. N K Choudhary drew attention to the quality of ore deemed exploitable, and demanded higher efficiencies in ore extraction, along with utilization of a lower quality ore.

This was followed by the Panel Discussion “MANTHAN”, where Prof. Prakash Apte, Director IIM Bangalore pointed out the dichotomy of providing higher education subsidies while primary education across the country continues to languish. He recommended a market based solution to this problem, with opening up of the higher education sector, while providing targeted subsidies to primary education in the country, especially for rural India. Mr. Hota, ex-CMD of IDCO, mooted an ambitious plan to develop a coastal infrastructure of ports stretching from West Bengal to North Andhra Pradesh, which would be connected to the hinterlands of Orissa, Jharkhand and Bihar by speedy rail transportation. These would lead a paradigm shift in the evolution of Eastern India’s development.

The INFRASTRUCTURE SESSION saw Mr. Sunil Mitra, the Principal Secretary for Power from the West Bengal government outlining the power sector reforms that are currently proceeding apace. He pointed out the success of this programme, which has led to profits being generated by the Public Power Sector, as a perfect example of the Ascent of a resurgent east, which has gone almost unnoticed by either the media or general public. These efforts in public reforms are not given wide publicity, but are tremendously effective. The development of other social infrastructure, including the lack of adequate educational infrastructure was lamented, and a suggestion was made to set up more quality ITI’s where the workers that would drive India’s manufacturing sector could be trained.

The session on the growth of the SERVICE SECTOR was clearly dominated by the discussion on the differentiators that led to the emergence of Eastern India, and Kolkata as an alternative for the major companies to set up offices there. A point was made about the lower cost of land and quality labour, with institutes such as ISI and Jadavpur University, but the future availability of talent was again noted with concern.

The session on SUSTAINABLE DEVELOPMENT also pointed out the need to bring the fruits of development down to every individual, while at the same time, ensuring that this security could be ensured for the coming generations as well.

In Parallel, there were also the case study and Paper Presentation on TOURISM DEVELOPMENT as well as LAND ACQUISITION POLICY. Innovative plans and solutions were given by students from all over the country over these emerging sectors and challenges.

In his concluding speech, Prof. Probir K Gupta, Dean of the Vinod Gupta School of Management summarised the conclusions of the conclave, with a special emphasis on the need for inclusive development, and the need for every individual to draw upon his or her skills to make their own dreams come true to bring development to the east. It is this expression of individual desire that will bring Purvodaya, a new dawn indeed for Eastern India.

'PURVODAYA'

National Conclave @ VGSOM

With rich natural resources, an ample and able talent pool and carefully engineered industrialization, Eastern India stands poised to take its place as an economic hub.

Vinod Gupta School of Management, IIT Kharagpur, has conceived a platform where policy-makers, corporate doyens, academicians and the student community can bring this grand vision to fruition.

PURVODAYA - National Conclave is where both the opportunities and obstacles that line this path can be explored.

While economic growth is important, it is imperative that the development process is all-inclusive and the spin-offs of the process trickle down to all sections of society. Several issues like striking a balance between agrarian and industrial interests, SEZs, need to be explored and debated to enable informed decision-making. It is such strategic, social and geo-political issues related to the development process that will be set before the galaxy of distinguished speakers at PURVODAYA.

The conclave would encompass vital sectors, which would play a prominent role in "Ascent of the East". The program is divided into four sub-themes each focusing on a key area namely Mining & Manufacturing, Infrastructure, Service Industry and Sustainable Growth along with Manthan – The Panel Discussion.

Speakers who have confirmed participation (till date) include dignitaries like:

1. Mr. Sunil Mitra
• Principal Secretary, Power, West Bengal Government

2. Mr. Ashim Burman
• Chairman, Damodar Valley Corporation (DVC)

3. Mr. Debashish Som
• Managing Director, WBIDC (West Bengal Infrastructure Development Corporation)

4. Mr. G. Ojha
• Director Personnel, SAIL

5. Mr. Vivekananda Pattanayak, IAS (Retd)
• Ex- Chairman, Orrisa Public Service Commission, presently Head Bhubaneswar Stock
Exchange

6. Mr. R Srinivasan, Board member, ITC.

7. Mr. Prakash Apte, Director, IIMB.

8. MR B.D. MUNDHRA , Chairman and Managing Director, Simplex Infrastructures Ltd

9. Dr. A. K. Chanda, Chairman Calcutta Port Trust

10. Senior Speakers from
• IBM
• Development for International Development (DFID), UK
• Senior Partner from Price Waterhouse Coopers (PWC)
• One more speaker from ITC.

In addition, the event also includes a challenging competition for students across the nations. Titled SARVUNNATI it aims to bring together the future leaders from different B-schools across the country to present their innovative ideas on various issues of the resurgent east.

PURVODAYA, we hope, will generate ideas that will leave their impression on the "sands of time" and give solution to those outstanding issues that act as roadblocks to the growth of the East.

PURVODAYA welcomes you to shape and share its vision for the Ascent of the East.

To know more about the event click here.

Happy Holidays !

As much as I want to wish each one of u a Merry Christmas and a Happy New year, I want to share the news of the new Google Doodle being out !

In case u haven't noticed, Google's released its latest Doodle - dis time for Holidays!

Just chk d google website or better look below :P

The legacy of Doodles goes a long way back and if u have never payed attention u have missed out one of the best examples of sheer creativity!

Chk out dis link for d entire list of Doodles -

http://www.google.com/holidaylogos.html

Happy doodling!

Perspective !

Nothing can better exemplify "Perspective" per se, than this quotation by Jeffrey Archer !

"I was allowed to ring the bell for five minutes before everyone was in assembly. That was the beginning of power"

- On his school days, in the Daily Telegraph 16 March , 1988.


I never knew 'perspective' could be such a powerful thing !!!

U Got Chocolates !!!

Nope m not askin u 2 mail me some chocs........dere's loads of dem dis side!

The above refers to a silly incident in hostel. I was called upon by a grp of close friends to be given some GYAAN. Actually it was more of a word of caution than just plain gyaan. I was being instructed to be extremely careful while i am doin my summer training - a first stint as an MBA graduate in the corporate world !

Eventhough I have already seen the ways and means of the corpo world for more than a year before getting back to college for a masters degree, I just can't leave the kid inside me. People say that is a good thing. But in my case that goes a tad beyond normal !

Sounds like Peter Pan eh!

Well that is precisely the case. Dunno why?

Before I begin digressing..............the incident.

After the Gyaan session ended; with loads of instructions on being careful about backstabbers and the associated filth that happens; some general talk was going on. It was then that one of my best friends in that grp revealed he had some choclates in his room.

And I dunno why but I simply shouted out "U Got chocolates !!!" in the most ecstatic manner u can imagine; with the brightest possible glint in my eyes, wide open like a cat's in the dark! I don't knw wat made me so happy. Maybe the fact that I was being instructed like a mom instructs her kid - look left, then luk right and then cross the road, that too only on a zebra crossing ! The whole atmosphere was so much like that.......it was so comforting......so reassuring......so clean n pure.....

I was the kid ...........with extremely wonderful friends who had called me upon coz they only thought gud for me..........coz they wanted me to be careful............coz they were genuinely 'Concerned' !

Now tell me..........when u r constantly treated like this.......... Why should u grow up? or better

Why do u need to grow up ?!?!

:) :) :) :) :)

P.S. That "U Got Chocolates" has stuck to me now forever since then, infact I have to repeat it with the exact same expression everytime I have to dig out some chocs 4m dis friend of mine!

N i luv doin it!

Direct vs Creative Advertising

Why David Ogilvy sided with the former?

Here's an exerpt from a speech the advertising genius gave to the advertising fraternity in Paris, expressing his opinion as to why direct advertising is more effective than creative advertising!

• “There is a yawning chasm between you generalists and we directs. We directs belong to a different world. Your gods are not our gods."

• “You generalists pride yourselves on being creative – whatever that awful word means. You cultivate the mystique of creativity. Some of you are pretentious poseurs. You are the glamour boys and girls of the advertising community. You regard advertising as an art form – and expect your clients to finance expressions of your genius. We directs do not regard advertising as an art form. Our clients don’t give a damn whether we win awards at Cannes. They pay us to sell their products. Nothing else."
  

• “You must be the most seductive salesmen in the world if you can persuade hard headed clients to pay for your kind of advertising. When sales go up, you claim credit for it. When sales go down, you blame the product. We in direct response know exactly to the penny how many products we sell with each of our advertisements. Your favourite music is the applause of your fellow art directors and copywriters. Our favourite music is the ring of the cash register."

• "You generalists use short copy. We use long copy. Experience has taught us that short copy doesn’t sell. In our headlines, we promise the consumer a benefit. You generalists don’t think it is creative."

• "You have never had to live with the discipline of knowing the results of your advertising. We pack our advertisements and letters with information about the product. We have found out we have to – if we want to sell anything.”

How true !!!

A Prof speaking English in class

* Inside the Class: Open the doors of the window. Let the Air Force come in.

* To a boy, angrily: I talk, he talk, why you middle middle talk?

* Shhhh........ Keep Quiet, The Principal is revolving the college.

* Open the doors of the window. Let the atmosphere come in.

* You, meet me behind the class. (Meaning AFTER the class)...

* Both of u three get out of the class.

* Cut an apple into two halves - take the bigger half.

* Shhh...Quiet, boys...the principal just passed away in the corridor

* Close the doors of the windows please... I have winter in my nose today...

* Take a Copper Wire of any metal...

* About his family: I have two daughters. Both of them are girls...

* At the ground :* All of you stand in a straight circle.* There is no wind in the balloon.

* Giving a punishment:
You, rotate the ground four times...
You go and under-stand the tree...
You three of you, stand together separately...
Why are you late - say YES or NO.

* Hang this chart here or I will hang myself

* Keep quiet else I will lose your marks

Plzz use the COMMENTS section generously and add all dat u can remember from ur Gud old Collg days........

Cheers :)

COURSE KITNA HUA YAAAAAR???

Hmm dats d WEBDINGS font.......

Wat does dat mean?

"Course kitna hua yaaaar?"

Why dat ridiculous font?

Coz dats how everything in the exam syllabus looks like when u have reached ur

"Saturation Threshold"

It wouldn't have taken a split second for anyone who's been to a college, esp. hostelites, to relate to the topic of this write-up!

The "Omnipresent Question", be it said or unsaid, reflecting conspicuously on each n every face....

Stacks of books on the study table, almost ready to give the Eiffel Tower gud enough competition.....

Sleepless faces roaming around like zombies.......

Helpless brains trying to make a FINAL PRIORITY LIST..........

Forecasting with some much needed assistance from Previous Years' Question papers....

Pinning the last hopes on these and finally on GOD!

But yes.........some people do let out that FRUSTRATION in a much more humorous fashion.......to d respite of many more around them..........

One way out is to pen it down in the form of SHAYARI..........

Here go some REAL LIFE compositions............Impromptu to the Core!

Dhoop me niklo, ghatao me nahakar dekho

Zindagi kya hai, KITABO ko hatakar dekho

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Vaah....

Kitaabein hataake kal imtehaaan deke to dekho

Zindagi kya hai....

Voh apni-apni marksheets mein dekho....!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

N here comes the ever optimistic SYMPATHIZER.........

Do not wory junta!

"Na har me na jeet me,

kinchit nahi bhaybhit maisangharsh path per jo mila,

yeh bhi sahi wah bhi sahi"...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Na yeh mila na woh mila........

Ab tak to saala kuch nahin mila............

Bhaybhit to tab ho insaan jab khone ka ho bhay man mein

Na har hai na jeet haiyeh to pass hone ki need hai....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Aaina dekh kar tasalli huyi,humko is ghar me jaanta hai koi !!!!

~~ GULZAR

D Reply-

Tumahara sher dekh kar tassalli hui.. ....

Hamaare allawaa bhi time waste kar raha hai koi....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yahan ka to alam aisa lagta hai ki.........

Aajkal din kuch aise gujaarte hain

Sabhi kitabo se sar nahi uthate hain kabhi!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Din to kuch khaas hai

Vela time aapke paas hai...

Dost ab shayari band kar dete hai........

Aur padai mein thoda dyaan laga lete hai...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Unki aankhon me neend kahan ,

jo dhun ke matwale haingati ki trisha aur badhti,

jab padte pairon me chale hain.....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kabtak tu paper mein sar khapayega,

kal bhi ghissu tha,

kal fir ghissu kehlayega

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bored of studying book n slides...

Khada hun aaj bhi roti ke char harf liye

sawaal hai ke KITABOn ne kya diya mujhko
*harf = alphabets (R,O,T,I)

Reply -

Khada hoon aaj biblab ki slides liye

vgsom ne rattu tota bana diya mujhe

na igbo,na osd,na marketing padho yaron

bus mauj karo mauj karo,mauj karo.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

check out this!! movies n studies!! they gel sooo well!!

Exam == Kalyug,

Classes == Kabhi Kabhi

Viva == Encounter

Examination Hall == Chamber of Secret

Examiner == Mrityudata

Course == GodZilla

Paper Correction == Andha Kanoon

Exam Time == Qayamat se Qayamat Tak

Question Paper == Paheli

Answer Paper == Kora Kagaz

Marks == Ashambhav

Paper Out == Plan

Cheating == Aksar

Last Exam == Independence Day

Result == Sadma

Pass == Ajooba / Chamatkar

Fail == Devdas

Vacations == Masti

Supplementary == Aakhri Rasta

Any more contributions to the above list are MOST WELCOME!

I shall gladly make use of them in another such situtaion which is bound to arise sooner or later........

After all .............Xams will be Xams & Students will be Students!

‘Women Soldiers’ – An Oxymoron in India?


“Would you have let me join the armed forces had I not had this slightly bad eyesight problem?”

I asked my father this question just after I watched “We the People’ on NDTV. The topic for discussion being ‘Is India’s military biased against women?’

The answer I got was a straight and blunt “Yes”
But if I know my father well, there was an underlying and very prominent tacit message – ‘I wouldn’t have let you give a 2nd thought to your decision.’
That is to say, “Do your homework first, as in self-introspection. If you promise to handle everything that is demanded from a woman soldier, go ahead. But don’t dare to insult the profession even in your dreams by regretting at any stage for having taken it up. Then you would be insulting your self, me, and your country.”

I had done my homework long back and that is why am not in the armed forces. Even though I have the mental stamina, I badly lack the physical strength required for being a part of the defense forces.

The debate has been ignited due to Army Vice Chief Lt. Gen. S. Pattabhiraman’s sexist remark – ‘Comfort level with women officers is low and the army can do without them’; followed by a suicide incident involving a woman officer.

The response included newspapers giving front page coverage to the issue, accompanying them with names in bold like – Rani Laxmibai of Jhansi, Joan of Arc, Razia Sultana, Rani Jhansi regiment of the INA, etc. all to prove that women have the metal in them to be a part of the military even in a combat role.

Following this was the emphasis on defining ‘COMBAT’ per se – you might be employed in any function in the military, there might not be access to basic facilities, you might have to share tents/blankets etc. with your counterparts (which include males), you might be captured by the enemy and in case of women, even sexually harassed, etc.

Thinking twice about such situations is what I meant by ‘Do your Homework’. The left side of my brain tells me that yes there are hurdles which in extreme cases might make a woman soldier look back at her decision. But then the right side adds, that is precisely why you need to promise yourself that you can face them. Only then you should go ahead and join the military. Don’t break the commitment.

The news channels have been flashing with debates, saying ‘The problem is with men and their mindset; which makes it difficult for them to accept a woman officer among their ranks.’

Another one said, ‘Women have grown, men need to grow up.’

Agreed.

But would add to that by saying, In the military,

‘If she can survive it all, Let her.
If she can’t and backtracks, Punish her’

Do your Homework girls, before falling for high-blown statements like ‘Breaking the glass ceiling’ and please don’t insult any profession.

Decide what you are made for!